I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
