Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
