You work out of a Hotel?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
