Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
