He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize