Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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