life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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