Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just pee around me
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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