I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
