Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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