my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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