Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
