Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize