How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
