I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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