My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Four minutes until I can fart!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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