My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
