Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
