halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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