Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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