Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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