omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
