What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
