Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize