My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
