You can't motorboat a personality
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize