here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
