When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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