I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
