Im at strip club and am horny
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
