No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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