let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
