this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
