If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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