I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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