it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
