i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
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