Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Everclear isn't food dammit
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
