we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
