I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
