Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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