You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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