Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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