u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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