Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
