You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
