Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
