if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I am naked and annoyed.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
