I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
