I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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