Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
