Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
