Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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