it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
dude. I can hear the air.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
