im drinking this country out of the recession.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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