Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
