it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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