oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize