Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
